Goodbye/Disaster
If I'm being honest? Some of the days I've been here have been the crappiest of my life. I've dealt with flamers, people attempting to steal my work, and betrayal. Stress, having to hurt people I care about, and the endless drama. But it was always worth it because there was someone to pick up the pieces. Whether it was a great mentor, some fantastic friends, some honesty, or new friends, there has never been a time where I was totally and utterly alone. I know I've disappointed some of you. Maybe even hurt you. But whenever I thought that I was down for the count, someone was there to pull me up. There are so many other users I'd like to thank, but you guys up there...you all kept me from falling. And that's like, a full time job. Thank you, so much. Disaster I'm trying not to pretend, :Forestheart was in a mood. :In the five moons Bramblepaw had been his apprentice, she had gotten to know her mentor. Really know him. They were friends, closer than that even. She could predict when he would call off a session to talk to Miststar and he knew when she would not accept that. :Today was one of those days. But she knew Forestheart wouldn't listen to reason. No matter how hard she, no matter how hard everyone tried to pretend the problem would go away with stricter patrols and marking the borders more often, they knew it wouldn't. Forestheart was just the only one vocal about it. :"Miststar is a dreamer," he'd said one day as they swam in the river, fishing a little, but mostly just floating. "She doesn't want to believe anything will change. And even though Sparrowsong's pragmatic, she won't contradict her." :Bramblepaw had just nodded, even though privately she was torn between ignoring her mentor and thinking he was a hero, a revolutionary, a leader. It won't happen again and again like that. :It was two moons into her apprenticeship the first time it had happened. :She'd almost forgotten the rogue who had stalked her and her littermates in the forest when they were kits. Almost. But that cool leaf-fall morning there had been shrieks as a patrol, including Icepaw and Maplefern, returned, bleeding. :"Rogues!" Maplefern had called. The warriors gathered around the she-cat, yowling protests and threats. "They jumped us and..." she trailed off, either exhausted or unwilling to go on. Icepaw had a shadowed look in her eye that Bramblepaw would never forget. :She didn't think it would happen again. :But it did. :Again. :And again. :And again. I never thought it would end, :She was in the nursery now. Leafwhisker and Autumnsky had kitted, a moon or so after Bramblepaw had left the nursery. Each of them had only had a single kit, which the medicine cat thought was strange, but not rare enough to be worrisome. :Leafwhisker's kit was an intelligent little russet she-cat with dark green eyes. Leafwhisker had lovingly dubbed her Redkit. :Autumnsky, on the other hand, had a fierce black she-cat with pretty blue eyes. For the splash of white on her chest, Autumnsky named her Starkit. :Bramblepaw didn't really want to have kits. She wanted to be the best warrior ever and save her Clan. But there was something comforting about kits, something that made all the fear, all her anxiety that Forestheart's terrible predictions would come true. 'cause you got up in my head, in my head like that. :Starkit tackled Redkit and the smaller kit pummeled her with her hind legs. Bramblepaw purred and Leafwhisker murmured something about going to get water with Autumnsky and would Bramblepaw please watch the kits? Bramblepaw nodded and the two queens left. :The kittens continued tussling, leaving Bramblepaw to her own chaotic thoughts. :She still remembered when she was with Goldie. The constant threat of other rogues, muscling in on territory. There were other groups out there. Groups that didn't take in helpless kits or play by the rules or acted rationally. :But MistClan was so powerful. Bramblepaw had never before seen such a powerful collection of cats. That was why Forestheart was being foolish, why no one else was worried. And made me happy, baby, love is crazy, :"Bramblepaw?" She looked down to see Redkit staring at her with big owlish eyes. "Can you tell us a story?" :Purring, Bramblepaw gave her a little shove, "Go ask the elders." :"Awww," Starkit groaned. "But it's all the way across camp." :"Fine," Bramblepaw sighed, purring. "What do you want to hear?" :"Tell us about being a rogue!" Starkit yowled over Redkit's answer. Redkit looked a little annoyed, but she nodded eagerly. :"Don't you want to hear about MistClan?" :"It's boring here." Redkit huffed. "Nothing ever happens." :"You kits don't know how lucky you are," Bramblepaw told them. They both rolled her eyes and she playfully cuffed them on the ears. "Besides, it's not boring. There are the ro-" :"Bramblepaw?" she looked up to see Forestheart looking at her. "Hunting?" :She looked back to the kits. Redkit was staring at Forestheart with awe and Starkit was wrestling with a ball of moss. "You guys go to the elder's den, okay?" :"Why do you have to go?" Starkit wailed as her littermate headbutted her towards the door. :Bramblepaw gave her a wry half smile, "Duty calls." So amazing, but it's changing, re-arranging, :The forest danced with light, green and yellow and orange and red and patches of mist, kissing the ground. Bramblepaw cavorted around, laughing. She never grew tired of the freedom, the joy, the Clan that had filled her heart with pride. :"Why must you be so cheery?" Forestheart growled. :She pranced around him, if only to irk him further. "It's a lovely day and I do tire of being a sarcastic smart-alack sometimes. Unlike some grumps." She paused in front of him and he stopped walking. :"What's wrong?" she asked, softly. :Forestheart sighed, shifting his weight until he finally meowed, "No one takes this seriously." :"The rogues?" :He nodded. "Even though they've attacked six patrols in the last three moons. They think it's just foolishness. That we can handle it." :"But we can, right?" Bramblepaw bounced a little on her paws. "We're MistClan, we can handle anything." :Forestheart stalked past her and she muttered, following him. I don't think I can take anymore :They had caught a fair amount of prey before sun-high. Even Bramblepaw, who was usually an okay hunter, at best, had caught more than one piece of prey. Forestheart wordlessly led her to the creek for a drink. He hadn't talked much since the discussion...argument...conversation...what had it been? :Lost in thought, she leaned down to take a drink, hen spit it out. :"What's wrong?" Forestheart asked. :"This water is salty!" she complained. Seeing Forestheart's smirk, she glared at him. "You try it!" :He leaned down with a heavy sigh and took a few laps. Something in his expression changed and he started rushing upstream. :"What is it?" Bramblepaw called, struggling to catch up. :"That's not salt!" Forestheart yelled back, speeding up a little. "It's blood." 'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down, :They ran for what was both far too long and far too short. Somewhere along the way, the water became threaded with red, and then it was a faint pink. Finally, it was a dark scarlet. Bramblepaw stopped, eyes wide. :"Over here!" Forestheart called. He was crouched over something, a rock maybe. Bramblepaw stumbled over and almost shrieked as she saw it was Leafwhisker, her throat torn open. :"She went to get a drink," Bramblepaw whispered. "Oh, StarClan...and Autumnsky?" :"Over there," Forestheart said softly, nodding to a heap of bright fur on the other side of the creek. :"Who could have done this?" Bramblepaw asked in horror. :"Who do you think?" Forestheart spat, picking Leafwhisker and lifting her gently over the pebbles and across the creek. His fur was dripping blood by the time they reached the other side and he lay her down beside Autumnsky. They could have been sleeping, garish red smiles painted on their throats. :That was when Bramblepaw started to loose faith. And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never. :"We must now accept that these rogues are a real threat," Miststar meowed, her voice hoarse. :Sparrowsong stood beside her, looking fearsome. Forestheart sat at the base of the rocks, his tuft hiding his expression. Bramblepaw wondered what he was thinking. :Redkit and Starkit huddled by her. Their eyes swam with tears. Redkit had her tail wrapped around Starkit. The black kit's eyes were filled with rage. Bramblepaw had them both cushioned in her own fluffy tail. :"What are we going to do?!" Cloverfang, a fierce senior warrior called. :"We should have protected them," Birchfur whispered, crouching on the ground, as though the news was crushing her. :Birdwing shook her head, "How could we have?" :Miststar struggled to regain control before it was too late. But the fear was spreading like wildfire. Feel the fire 'cause it's all around, :Honeyrose's voice rose to a wail, "What if they come here?" :Mosswhisker and Stealthfire whispered to each other, looking terrified. Sunnyfrost whimpered and Smudgepelt tried unsuccessfully to get cats to calm down. The elders, Ravenflight, Shinelight, and Leopardfang murmured to each other about young cats. Sunmark shouted solutions. :Starkit buried her face in Bramblepaw's tail and Redkit looked at her petulantly. "Make them stop," she begged. :Bramblepaw helplessly looked up and caught Forestheart's eye. He must have seen her desperation because he stood and yowled for silence. And surprisingly, the Clan listened, quieting down. And it's burning up forever and always. :"I'm not the leader or deputy," Forestheart began, his voice a little shaky before he found his usual confidence. "But I know we need to stay calm. We will find a way to beat the rogues. We will find a solution. We will avenge Autumnsky and Leafwhisker!" :The clearing was so silent you could have heard a mouse skittering on wet leaves. Forestheart looked up at Miststar, who seemed to have no intention of taking over when Forestheart was doing so well. He turned back to the Clan, ignoring Sparrowsong's narrowed eyed. :"We can do this." he took a deep breath. "We'll be okay." :"You promise?" :Everyone looked to see where the noise was coming from. It was Shipaw, curled against Wetpaw, her eyes scared. :A beat of silence. :"Yeah," Forestheart meowed, "I promise." You gotta let it go and be on our way :It took three days for the senior warriors and Forestheart to decide a course of action. Three days of terror, constantly checking over shoulders to make sure you weren't about to be jumped. :Bramblepaw spent all three days with Starkit and Redkit. Icepaw and Wetpaw teased her a little, but Shipaw always quietly supported her. Besides, Bramblepaw knew that Icepaw and Wetpaw were just scared, and it was their way of coping. It was her way of coping too. :She tried not to let anyone see how far she'd sunken into cynicism. No one knew how terrible it had been to see the two she-cats lying there dead. To be the last cat to have talked to them, seen them. To be the cat who had sent them to get a drink and then take a nap and never wake up. And live for another day, :On the third day, she walked in to see Redkit and Starkit sitting close together, their front right paws touching. Redkit's single white paw blurred into Starkit's black paw. :"-sisters forever," Starkit finished proclaiming. :"Forever," Redkit echoed seriously. :Bramblepaw didn't know what was happening until she saw the blood seeping onto the moss, the thorn that lay between the two kits. :"What are you doing?" she shrieked, checking their paws. :"We're blood sisters now," Starkit informed her proudly. :"We share the same blood!" Redkit explained. "So it makes us sisters." :"Why would you do that?" Bramblepaw asked, half-laughing, half-angry. "Grown warriors hate poking thorns in their paws, and here you two are doing it for fun!" :"It's not fun," Starkit told her darkly. "It's serious." :"We don't have anyone else left." Redkit added softly. "But now we'll always have each other." :Bramblepaw, never one to cry, sobbed herself to sleep that night. 'cause it ain't the same, my baby. :The fourth morning dawned with tension in the air. Without prompting, all the MistClan cats gathered in the clearing, expecting news. :Miststar, looking grave, stood on the rocks. "We will attack. Tonight." :Sparrowsong stepped forward, "These are the cats who will be going. Miststar, myself, Cloverfang, Honeyrose, Mosswhisker, Stealthfire, Hiddensun, Forestheart, Wetpaw, and Bramblepaw. We will ambush them and either drive them away or kill them. Be ready at sunset." :Bramblepaw shivered. Whether it was excitement or fear, she couldn't tell. Watch it all fall into the ground :Stealthfire, the best tracker in the Clan, had followed the rogues' scent to their den. It was a dark bramble grove, surrounded by pine trees. Needles pricked Bramblepaw's pads and she remembered Starkit and Redkit, piercing themselves with thorns so they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. She was doing this for them. :"Here," Stealthfire whispered, unnecessarily. Miststar and Sparrowsong padded past him and each took a deep breath. :"Go," Miststar ordered. With shrieks, the MistClan cats poured into the clearing. They howled and yowled until they realized no one was in the camp. :"But the scent led here," Stealthfire whispered, confused. Bramblepaw panted, adrenaline surging through her. The rogues had to be here, unless- :"Look out!" Forestheart yowled, coming to the same conclusion. :Rogues leaped down from the trees shrieking. The MistClan cats were corralled in the center, with no choice but to fight their way out. No happy ever after, just disaster. :This was not the crisp ending Bramblepaw had imagined. The organized battle with lines and rules. This wasn't what she imagined her story would be like. :Cats writhed on the ground, fought on rocks, screamed and caterwauled and growled. She could barely tell rogues from MistClan cats and once she almost jumped on Mosswhisker. :She was an apprentice, but one who had been training since she was a moon old. She knew most of the rogues' dirty tricks and she was fierce. More than one rogue ran from her, bleeding. But after a while of fighting, she found herself facing a massive gray tom. He swept her legs out from under her, opening a broad cut on her flank. :Pain. She curled in on herself, not wanting to give up, but not able to stand because of the hurt. The tom loomed over her, raising a paw. I didn't want it this way, :And then Wetpaw was there. She dove at his belly and clawed at it mercilessly, screaming curses at the tom. Bramblepaw managed to stagger to her paws and padded over weakly to help. Finally, the tom threw them off and ran. :"You okay?" Wetpaw asked, panting. :Bramblepaw nodded, too tired to do anything else. This was desperate. Hopeless. I only wanted to say I loved you right. :Who was she, to think she could save her Clan? Do something special? She was nothing, just a little rogue kit lucky enough to be graced into the Clan. Just a lucky little she-cat who loved too well. But now you're walking away, :A wail went up in the clearing. Bramblepaw turned to see Sparrowsong, standing over a motionless silver lump. :Miststar. :"She's dead!" Sparrowsong screamed madly. "She's dead, she's dead. she's-" :A she-cat deftly tackled Sparrowsong. The dark she-cat didn't even put up a fight as the rogue slit her throat. :"Great StarClan..." Wetpaw whispered. And leaving me here to stay, :Without a leader to guide them, the cats scattered. Bramblepaw and Wetpaw scrambled into the forest, unable to hear or see any of their Clanmates. Every pawstep was an echo in Bramblepaw's mind. We lost, we lost, we lost... So foolish of me to wait for you to realize :She hated herself, she hated the Clan for ignoring Forestheart. Maybe if they acted sooner...maybe....maybe... All the things I gave you, made you, :She loved her Clan. Changed you, your dreams came true :It had changed her life. Her belly never growled, she never wanted for anything. Her life was full of laughter and love and light. When I met you, now forget you, :But they had lost. Don't want anymore :She couldn't breathe. 'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down :"Bramblepaw!" :She was lying on the ground. Wetpaw hovered over her, and another dark figure behind her. Bramblepaw wanted to scream, Rogue! but her tongue didn't work. :"She's hurt," Wetpaw whispered. :"I'll carry her," a tom meowed. She dimly recognized it as Forestheart. The ground fell away from her and she was swinging, a pendulum still striking the same two words. :We lost. And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never. :"It cannot be done," Ravenflight whispered. A few of the warriors shook their heads, but most were too heavily bandaged, too aching to argue with the elder. :"We should run," Honeyrose whispered. She had lost an eye in the fight, her beautiful face now marred by an ugly scar. :"We don't even have a leader!" Icepaw snorted, hysterical. "We should just scatter!" :To Bramblepaw's hazy horror, no one disagreed. Feel the fire 'cause it's all around, :Despite all the poppy seeds she had been given to dull the pain and lull her to sleep, Bramblepaw remained stubbornly awake as the MistClan cats bemoaned their fate. Her pelt was on fire and she was fairly certain she started hallucinating (since when was Shipaw half pigeon?) but she kept her eyes open. And it's burning up forever and always. :"We can't leave," Hiddensun proclaimed. Her amber eyes burned in the coming dawn and she stood tall. :"But you promised we'd be safe," Shipaw whispered brokenly. "You promised." :No one had an answer. You gotta let it go and be on our way :"I think Forestheart should be leader," Wetpaw proclaimed boldly. :There was a pause and Bramblepaw saw her mentor's eyes widen. Then the murmurs of agreement started. :"He saved my life." :"He knew about the rogues before anyone else." :"That speech..." :Bramblepaw longed to add her voice to the ones talking, but the darkness was wearing away at her defenses and finally, she sank deep into unconsciousness. And live for another day, :She woke up two days later to Wetpaw's face a whisker-length from her own. She sat up, shrieking, then yowled again at the pain in her side. :"That always wakes her up when she's being stubborn," Wetpaw purred. :"I wasn't being stubborn!" Bramblepaw practically yelled. "I was almost dead!" :She heard a purr and turned to see Forestheart looking at her with green eyes proud. But also different. He didn't look completely like Forestheart anymore. Not the cocky tom she ran into the woods all those moons ago, anyways. Cause it ain't the same, my baby. :"What happened?" she whispered. :Neither of them answered her. :"Forestheart?" her voice rose in panic. :He tried to give her a purr, but it failed. "Addressing a Clan leader by his warrior name? Bit disrespectful, don't you think?" Watch it all fall into the ground :Everything crashed back into her memory. She was falling, from the skies of infallibility to the jagged ground. No happy ever after ‒ just disaster. :Miststar was dead. You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me, :Sparrowsong hadn't even struggled Not feeling my heart beat, and now I was dying. :And Forestheart was gone. She hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye. I am through it, I-I am through all the agony, :And then she felt ridiculous. Forestheart wasn't gone, he was just...Foreststar. But she still felt pangs of hurt radiating through her. He was a leader now, and that was a border she could never cross. :She thought she was his best friend. Couldn't he have waited for her to wake up and tell her? And now my eyes are drying, trying, :"Bramblepaw..." Foreststar whispered. "Don't cry..." :She realized tears were tracing down her cheeks and hurriedly wiped them away. No more crying, :I am strong. I am ice and fire and thorns. I won't be hurt, not by this, not by anything. Don't cry. Lying's just a game. :Bramblepaw gave him a big grin, "I'm fine!" So disaster strikes, :Miststar was dead. Sparrowsong was dead. Forestheart was gone, replaced by a tom who wore his pelt and his smile, but not his eyes. Not his carelessness, his cockiness. And I'm alright :But then again, she saw a different she-cat when she looked at her reflection. Same pelt, but her eyes were haunted. Her purr was forced. She was different, harder and more closed off. :I'm fine, she told herself. 'cause my love's on his way... yeah :A few days later, Wetpaw practically skipped into the medicine den. "Groom your pelt, we have a big day!" Burning for forever and always... yeah :No way. 'Cause the walls burned up, and our love fell down, :It passed in a daze. Wetpaw groomed her pelt, extra careful around her wound. She helped her limp out to the clearing. And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never. :Icepaw and Shipaw were sitting in the center of the clearing, glowing with pride. Foreststar sat on the rocks, Hiddensun, the new deputy, beside him. The Clan was gathered, eyes a little lighter than they had been the day before. Feel the fire 'cause it's all around, :Foreststar talked for a while about the rogues and plans. Bramblepaw couldn't force herself to pay attention. Nostalgia and excitement warred for dominance in her. And it's burning for forever and always. :Foreststar was an apprentice, finding her, a kit, in the forest. You gotta let it go and be on our way :She was a warrior, leading a yowling patrol. And live for another day, :She was being made an apprentice, her adopted sisters by her side. 'Cause it ain't the same, my baby. :She was the might of MistClan. Watch it all fall into the ground :And then it started. No happy ever after ‒ just disaster. :"Icepaw," Foreststar started. He looked nervous, this was the first time he'd done this. Bramblepaw wanted to comfort him, cheer him on. 'Cause the walls burned up, and our love fell down, :"You are as fierce as the coldest leaf-bare," Foreststar meowed. "You are a force to be reckoned with, and a great asset to the Clan. From this day on, you shall be known as Icestorm." And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never. :The Clan chanted her name. Bramblepaw chanted too, but her heart thrumming blocked out all the sound. Feel the fire 'cause it's all around, :"Shipaw," Foreststar half smiled. "Your mother gave you an unique name, just as you are a unique cat. From this day on, you will be know as Shishimmer." And it's burning for forever and always. :Not a name Bramblepaw would have chosen, but she cheered again, feeling her heart pound more and more rapidly. You gotta let it go be on our way :"Wetpaw, you are like the river. Calm, stormy, rapid, ever changing but always good. From this day on you shall be known as Wetstream." And live for another day, :Loud cheers. 'Cause it ain't the same, my baby. :It was her turn. Watch it all fall into the ground :"My own apprentice. Bramblepaw..." he stopped, his eyes on her and only her. "You are the fine line between everything. Clan and rogue, broken and whole." :There were whispered questions about the last part, but Bramblepaw knew what he meant. She was pretending to be normal, even though her heart felt as though it would shatter with every step. No happy ever after ‒ just disaster, just disaster :"From this day on, you shall be known as Bramblepath." :Cheers. Burning up for forever and always Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics